Lauren Card Live

I posted this last night but somehow it became corrupt so here it goes again…

Tonight I had my second class of the 2nd session of Sensei Ron Thomas’s Black Belt in Excellence coaching series. Sensei brought up a very thought provoking topic around anticipation and how it’s different from expectation.

With expectations there are boundaries and limits, “If this happens, then that will happen, or be true.” With anticipation there is flexibility, “I’m thinking this or that may happen, but I’m open to possibility.” …Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about for both, especially with the intention it will help others with Thanksgiving around the corner.

How many of you cook or like to cook and make a big deal over Thanksgiving dinner? Appetizers, turkey, grandma’s secret stuffing, yams, green beans with those onion things on top, Waldorf salad, pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes and gravy…you know what I’m talking about. Trust me, I’ve had many years cooking for 25 people plus, loving every minute of it. Starting about a week in advance I would create the expectation that all of those that R.S.V.P.’d Yes, would show for dinner… reasonable, right? Well, ask yourself, how would I feel if only half of them actually showed up?…(remember you are not them… Since you have a quantitative expectation (25 were going to show), it can only be measured as “enough showed” or “not enough showed”. This is Win-Lose thinking… how’s that working for you?

How can I structure my thinking to have it be the best holiday season ever? The answer may lie in changing from quantitative expectation to qualitative anticipation. Let me to explain.

A quantitative expectation is a way of looking at the future that can hardwire us to make absolute judgments (“good / bad”). Quantitative means “to measure” flexibility, and expectation is part of a paradigm. I expect the sun to rise, I expect to pay taxes, I expect to die…reasonably rigid. Expectations when reasonable are the meat and potatoes of life that let us make appointments, have children, and engage in social behaviors. Quantitative Expectations are good for some things, but are probably best kept to a minimum.

Qualitative anticipations on the other hand are not part of life paradigms…they are softer and more flexible. The root word for “qualitative” is “quality”, which is subjective, not objective. Anticipation for me trends to the positive, I have no history of anticipating bad things…I anticipate good things. Qualitative anticipations are my personal observations of how things that I expect to be joyful are more or less joyful… to be authentic, there’s not much room for “frustrating.”

It is my utmost hope and desire for each of you to have peace and freedom in your lives, not only this holiday season, but everyday… why not?

…are you ready for change? talk tomorrow?
L.

Hugs,
L.

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