The acceptable and the unacceptable are both acceptable – Lao Tzu
A wise and prosperous farmer lived in northern China. He had the respect of all his neighbors because of the way he lived his life and the way he conducted his affairs. Following a violent storm in the area, he went out to his field and discovered that his best horse, a magnificent stallion, had been terrified by the storm and had broken free from the corral. The fine creature was nowhere to be found. The farmer’s neighbor’s heard about the loss and came by that evening to express their sympathy, saying, “What bad luck.” His neighbors were surprised when the farmer merely responded, “Who knows what is good luck and what is bad luck?”
The next day his stallion returned, bringing with him a herd of wild horses, all equally as strong and fast. Again, neighbors rushed over, but this time in a festive mood, saying, “What good luck!” A second time the old farmer responded, Who’s knows what is good luck and what is bad luck?”
A few days later the farmer’s only son was riding one of the wild horses. The mare threw him high into the air and when he landed, his leg was broken in several places. The kind neighbors came by to check on the young man, and said to the father, What bad luck?”
Later in the week, the army came through the village to inform the villagers that a border war was taking place. They conscripted all of the young men in the village into the army. Because the farmer’s son had a broken leg, the army left him behind, saying the he was an invalid. Again the neighbor came by, saying, “What good luck.” But once more, the farmer responded, “ Who knows what is good luck and what is bad luck?”
For me this story is instructive in two ways. First, it is a reminder that life is often a series of events oscillating between the ups and downs, between peaks and valleys, between easy times and hard times, between ecstasy and pain. When we truly realize that the flow of life, we can be more patient with the down times, and like Lao Tzu, come to the place where we can say “the acceptable and the unacceptable are both acceptable.” Second, this story powerfully teaches us that we should not be hasty in making judgments about what is good and what is bad. Often what initially appears as an enormous burden in our lives proves to be a significant blessing.
This is a post from one of my favorite websites Daily Om.
I think this story covers all the elements of Wealth, Wellness, Leadership and Legacy
Squirrel Medicine
Native Americans considered all living beings as brothers and sisters that had much to teach including squirrels. These small creatures taught them to work in harmony with the cycles of nature by conserving for the winter months during times when food was plentiful. In our modern world, squirrels remind us to set aside a portion of our most precious resources as an investment in the future. Though food and money certainly fall into this category, they are only some of the ways our energy is manifested. We can conserve this most valuable asset by being aware of the choices we make and choosing only those that nurture and sustain us. This extends to the natural resources of our planet as well, using what we need wisely with the future in mind.
Saving and conservation are not acts of fear but rather affirmations of abundance yet to come. Squirrels accept life’s cycles, allowing them to face winters with the faith that spring will come again. Knowing that change is part of life, we can create a safe space, both spiritually and physically, that will support us in the present and sustain us in the future. This means not filling our space with things, or thoughts, that don’t serve us. Without hoarding more than we need, we keep ourselves in the cyclical flow of life when we donate our unwanted items to someone who can use them best. This allows for more abundance to enter our lives, because even squirrels know a life of abundance involves more than just survival.
Squirrels use their quick, nervous energy to enjoy life’s adventure. They are great communicators, and by helping each other watch for danger, they do not allow worry to drain them. Instead, they allow their curious nature to lead the way, staying alert to opportunities and learning as they play. Following the example set by our squirrel friends, we are reminded to enjoy the journey of life’s cycles as we plan and prepare for a wonderful future, taking time to learn and play along the way.
“I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.” – Albert Einstein
First of all… “Hi”, I’m here and PRESENT. I’m grateful I had the awareness to create space for self care today, I was really needing it and now feel super energized. I had a great 4+ mile walk with a friend and really committed to keeping that routine going .
Presence is about being in the now whether you are with another or with yourself, a challenging feat at times I admit! A book I’d recommend on this subject is Eckhart Tolle’s – Power Of Now
Benefits to being present:
Improved social skills -
With your attention focused outward towards the person(s) you are interacting with notice what you are experiencing with all of your senses. What’s your gut telling you, your heart, your mind? With this knowledge how can you connect with that person more effectively?
Presence can also help you with listening. Presence helps you to decrease the habit of thinking about the future and what you think you should say next while trying to listen. Like Zach Slobin taught us at the last Quest training, when another is sharing their story listen until your ears hurt!
Improved creativity –
If you write or do some other creative work you may have found that your best work flows out of you when you are not thinking. You just write, paint, play… whatever. You enter a state where things just happen effortlessly. When I’m creating art either in a logo design or a painting, this flow comes through me not from me, that’s when I know I’m fully present.
You appreciate your world more –
One of big advantages of becoming more present in your everyday life is that you decrease the amount of analysing and labelling you do to the things/people in your surroundings. You observe your world with more clarity and curiousness…like a little kid again, discovering things while they still feel fresh…
It’s impossible to be present and judge at the same time.
Openness-
This is perhaps the best benefit. Being present can open you to see and experience things without preconceived notions or story. In this state you can connect and communicate with yourself and others in a more life enriching way vs. life alienating.
Less worry-warting and overthinking.-
If you are a chronic over thinker, one that goes round and round in circles in your mind before you ever get anything done, then being present is a great release from that habit. I’m not saying that you might not slip back into over thinking, but being present just for a while can truly help.
Transformation… for the past 3 years that’s what my life has been about, really deep down “get in the mud”, exhilarating, challenging, frightening, wonderful self discovery…not for the faint of heart!
Not long ago, after hearing about my desire to dive deeper a friend asked, ”Lauren, why would you want to open up a can of worms?”
My reply was simple … “Because I don’t want them on my shelf.”
I guess you could say this Quattro 90 Day Challenge wasn’t enough for me as yours truly is now also taking on a 12 week coaching program with Sensei Ron Thomas that started this past Sunday night. The course is called A BLACK BELT IN EXCELLENCE… sounds intriguing, yes?
Sensei Ron, one of Quattro University’s amazing instructors, is a Transformational Life Coach, Seminar Leader and Motivational Speaker specializing in Human Potential and Excellence. He is a Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Time Line Therapist and Life Strategies Coach. Having experience two all day workshop with him, I know I’m in very good hands!
We will be working individually and as a team of 14 through two core curriculums for the purpose of personal transformation:
Foundation One: “Defeating Your Past” and Foundation Two: “Owning Your Future.”
Foundation One (Defeating Your Past) is a six-week, intrapersonal intensive that shatters unconscious blocks and previous limitations, and will help me gain mastery over negative emotions, raise my confidence and awareness, and break patterns I have of behavior that isn’t serving me…trust me, I know I have these!
Foundation Two(Owning Your Future) is a six-week intensive that focuses on personal excellence and self-mastery. During these six weeks, I will be coached on topics such as productivity, effectiveness, creativity, intention, focus, discipline, purpose, harmony, expansion and more.
Sensei Ron believes excellence is as much an art as it is ‘a way’. Powerful inner qualities such as focus, discipline, confidence, courage, self-esteem, respect, honor, compassion, patience and much more, added together equal excellence.
With this course there are assignments and tasks we will be expected to perform…in fact I am in the process of writing out my Goals and Intentions for the next 12 weeks to post on our team site, so once those are up, I’d like to let you know what those are for me and share with you my successes, breakthroughs and discoveries. I figure if you guys know my goals you can help support my efforts and also hold me accountable!
Think about what you say regarding your life and the words you choose to communicate those feelings with others and yourself on a daily basis. What is your internal dialogue? How do you handle relationships? Bottom line…Change your beliefs and you’ll achieve better results.
You already know that you’re free to choose your actions (subject to any physical restraints you may be currently experiencing). And of course your actions have consequences. If you take action and observe a negative consequence, the wise advice would be to change your actions. If you take action and achieve a positive result, you’ll probably want to repeat that action under similar circumstances. This is just common sense, right?
It’s less commonly understood that you’re also free to choose your beliefs. In fact, you’re even more free to choose your beliefs than your actions because you needn’t worry about being physically restrained from believing anything you want. Few people, however, take full advantage of the freedom to change their beliefs. Your beliefs have consequences just as your actions do, and those consequences aren’t always positive.
I invite you to look within yourself. Write down one of your goals, and then list any beliefs you can think of that might stand in your way. Go over those limiting beliefs one by one, create new beliefs and replace with those that empower. You’ll find examples below…
…Here’s a “Golden Nugget” from instructor Gary de Rodriguez. Right after you catch yourself saying or thinking a negative belief, quickly say: “Cancel Clear”. This really helps change our old belief systems and anchor in the new.
I’m not smart enough “Cancel Clear”replace with: I am confident and self assured
I hate my body “Cancel Clear”replace with: I love all of my body parts
I’m always going to struggle in life “Cancel Clear”replace with: Abundance is my natural state.
I am only as good as the success I achieve “Cancel Clear”replace with: I am worthy of my prosperity
Obstacles- “Entrepreneurs are simply those who understand that there is little difference between obstacle and opportunity and are able to turn both to their advantage.” – Niccolo Machiavelli
I read an article about the obstacles leaders face and I agreed with one of the biggest obstacles for an entrepreneur… Delegation.
For three years I was the chairman for a non-profit golf tournament where 288 golfers not only had a day of fun the sun, but also enjoyed a full evening of food, libations, and a huge silent/live auction with spouses, friends and the like. In those 3 years we raised just shy of 500K for school children ranging in age from K – 12 for 4 public schools in Orange County. I’m very proud of that accomplishment but I must confess, had I not learned to delegate we wouldn’t have had the impact we did.
Delegation is a key ingredient in leadership and is one of the most difficult obstacles to overcome. Delegation is necessary for your success as a leader and is equally important to the development of those that chose to follow you. When you fail to delegate a task that you could and should, you find yourself in a situation that does effectively utilize the skills that you bring as a leader. You are too busy doing other things. In order to develop into an accomplished leader, you must delegate.
Remember that:
• Each person is different. There may be individuals in your organization that would jump at the opportunity to do the tasks that you are reluctant to delegate.
• Everyone in your organization benefits when you delegate responsibilities that fall outside your core competencies. Thoughtful delegation will allow others in your organization to shine and allow yourself the opportunity to focus on your areas of strength. Often times it is both natural and necessary for others to contribute. We had so many unbelievable talents on our committee, I was in constant awe at what was produced as a team.
Delegation is a learned skill… what can you do to master this skill?
Evaluate yourself: What are your strengths and weaknesses? In what areas can you operate that will make the most impact?
Evaluate others: Take time to get to know them and find out what they enjoy doing the most. What are their strengths? What are the areas in which they could compliment you and through delegation would allow you to excel in leadership? How can you effectively utilize them? What can I delegate that will enable some else to show their strength?
My first suggestion is to create a time journal for yourself. This journal will provide a clearer picture of where you are spending your time. Once you have the journal, ask yourself these questions… 1. What am I doing that does not really need to be done? 2. What am I doing that could be done by someone else? 3. What am I doing that could be done more efficiently? 4. What do I do that wastes time?
Second, delegation is a responsibility. As a leader it is your role to develop and empower others.
Delegation: 1. Helps other grow 2. Establishes accountability & responsibility 3. Generates greater results 4. Creates pride and confidence for yourself and those that follow you
Next, challenge your followers: 1. People rise to the challenge; let them 2. Be clear in communication. Delegate tasks in writing whenever possible and always include a deadline date 3. Give objectives, not procedures 4. Explain the relative importance of the task(s)
Finally, stay the course. Certainly, there are times when it might appear easier and less time consuming to do something yourself; however, over the long term, taking the time to delegate, train or enable someone else is one of the most beneficial investments you can make for yourself and others. Ultimately, the strength of a leader is empowering others to obtain greater results.
Flexibility - “If you stand in your strength too long then it becomes your weakness.” — Dr. Elias Porter
…as I review this Quote I’m laughing, my server was down and I was trying to get this out before midnight. I did thankfully and now I’m choosing to be “Flexible”… and in this moment, I’m so appreciate the day and having choice to decide.
In the Leadership Through Self Understanding class at Quattro University , instructor Andi Burgis taught us that one of the Key Points to being an effective Leader is Flexibility. She stated that being aware and adapting to other people’s styles and behavior is critical to successful leadership and teamwork.
There is power in being principled — a clear symmetry of structure, consistency and unwavering values. There is also power in being flexible — open, adaptable and resilient.
Each one of us tends to stand more to one side or the other — some of us are much more comfortable standing firmly on the principled or structured. Others of us are much more adept as standing on the flexible, open, adaptive and resilient. Which side do you tend to stand on?
If it is the principled side then you need to cultivate and begin to appreciate the flexible side. If it is the flexible side then you will need to cultivate and appreciate the more principled and structured side. After all, if you stand in your strength overlong, then it will become your weakness — principle turning into rigidity and flexibility turning into waving with the prevailing breeze.
I decided I’m both and to be a hollow bamboo… how flexible are you?
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two “wolves” inside us all. One is: Anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is: Joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
As a leader one of the most valuable gifts we can give is our ability to listen and hear with compassion and empathy, not just for the other, but also for ourselves… this is presence. “When we sit in judgement, we are not present…the two cannot exist at the same time”.
So… I invite you tomorrow to take time and check in to see if there is a wolf present in your life. Are you feeling anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego?
Or are you feeling joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith?
Okay…I FINALLY had my video load to YT after their maintenience issues and them telling me to be cool about it …check it out below. Like I said, life happens and I’m sticking with my newly acquired Mantra from my NVC (Non- Violent Communication) Mentor Mary Mac Kenzie, one that I use when life happens and is out of my control: “I don’t mind what happens”…I can’t tell you the freedom this shift in consciousness creates, feel free to try it!
My video tells the story and as my hero Kermit says…”it’s not easy being green”… Yes, but somebody has to do it!
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Transformation… for the past 3 years that’s what my life has been about, really deep down “get in the mud”, exhilarating, challenging, frightening, wonderful self discovery…not for the faint of heart!
